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![]() Send me your questions (200 words or less) and I will share my wisdom (Bullshit) with you.
I've had years of experience as a crisis counselor/ motivational
speaker. I specialized in abuse and relationship issues. My approach is
simple: Address reality as reality...accept emotions as emotions.
All my opinions are just that "opinions". |
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Latest Q&A: ...Scroll down this page for more answers...
Viewer Writes: How much of an age difference (Between an older woman and a younger man) is workable? Also I am wondering..I had breast cancer tissue removed almost 7 years ago. In my opinion, my right breast is significantly smaller than my left....but those Boogie Responds: From Harold to Maude is workable if children are not involved. I've been with women 20 years older and 18 years younger...love is love...cease the day!!! Be with who makes you happy...even if it only lasts a short while...tomorrow doesn't exist. We so often wind up shitting on today becuase we're so worried about Don't worry about your breasts...telling the cancer surviving story is good But, it's not like you have to tell someone on the first date but, don't worry about your breasts...all womens breasts that are None of us are perfect so, once again...don't sabotage You only have one life...enjoy each moment with passion.
Viewer Writes: I was sexually abused as a child. And I fell into a bad situation with a guy Boogie Responds: Of coarse...there are LOTS of things you can do. First thing to realize is that these issues your are having are temporary. Everything in our body thats not physical is mental (which feeds off of and controls the physical) That means you have to go to the source and redirect where that pain or, your issues is flowing to. Once you take on those issues...you can take away their power to hurt you or, control your behavior. # 1 way I've found...is talking about it. The more you talk about something in a solution based tone...the more power you take away from it. Here...I'll give you an example. " I Boogie...had a dick up my ass when I was 7 (many times)...it devistated my whole youth and most of my teenage years. Now then...to most...all they hear when I say that is that " I had a dick up my ass when I was 7." All " I " focus on is the fact that it no longer has power in my life...and I'm free to be happy. I have re-directed that pain to give me power. So now, I have so much power, that I can confidently share some of my power with YOU. I have the power to tell you in 99.9 % confidence... You can have the power overcome your past. All you have to do...is choose. If you take people you can who understand what you went through with you...it's not as scary. If people won't walk with you or, try to get in the way of your journey to happiness...then you leave them behind. I so believe with all my heart that you can do this. The first person to talk to about this is your boyfriend. You don't need bad advice right now...you need positive advice and encouragement If he really loves you...he'll hang in there with you. This journey may at times be sucky...but, I promise you it's so worth it. love4u
Viewer Writes: I think you have a great site! I am 18. My relationship with my girlfriend ended with her leaving Boogie Responds: You're dancing in a dangerous part of the world...but, a very tempting one. lol Older women ROCK!! make no mistake...they are more confident about what they want BUT...this is your ex-girlfriends mom. It sounds like she wants you...that's obvious and I'm sure it's exciting to her to have a young man want her. BUT...this could cause a major issue with her and her daughter. I know that sucks...and, believe me, The negatives that might be causing this. Possible passive agressive revenge against your ex...maybe not...but, maybe. Possibly the mom wants you because she's competing with her daughter The reality is...you are the horny guy...and you want to get laid. " Hey, you're mom's pretty...are you gonna hook a friend up?? " Then see how she reacts...and dig a little deeper as you go...but, keep it light. Then...wait a day...because I gurentee you...she will talk to her mom about it If everybody is cool with it...I would suggest you fuck the paint off the mom's toenails for as If she freaks out and says stuff like "that's disgusting" or, "I'd never forgive you" then you know If you still want to have sex with the mom, Tough call my friend...but, if you care about either of them...you can't just throw yourself at the mom. You will always be able to get sex but, they only have one mother/daughter relationship. The fact that you e mailed me is a great indication that not ALL the blood has left your brain yet. good luck
Viewer Writes:
This situation you are in is something most of us will be in MOST relationships don't work out. The average person will be in at least a few relationships (sometimes quite a few) I know that makes me an asshole to spoil the fairy tale Because of the strong emotions, expectations and sometime insecurities Our instincts, biologically for millions of years have taught us to avoid That's where your walls come from...they are a natural part of your body and mind Don't fight it...it's a good thing...:) It just means...you have to give yourself TIME to let this person earn your trust. People have a tendancy to rush into a commited relationship like it's a god damn contest. This mentality is a LOVE KILLER...I've seen this so many times it's insane. People are so obsessed with owning the other person "Forever" that they I'm not saying you never plan for a future with someone...but, most people rush it to the You are in no hurry...if the other person is in a hurry...they are immature and it probably Now then...at 18 and never having been in a true relationship that has ended in pain...I'm Don't worry about this guy...just take your time, try to have a nice time with him,
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: The problem is...why is he playing with himself instead of you? This could be that he's having issues that make him not want to be intimate with you. All these can make a man shut down his intimacy. Porn is just about getting off. If he is masturbating but, then still having sex with you But, if he is replacing you with porn...then there is an issue. Either way...honest communication is the only way to get to the bottom of this. Otherwise why be in a relationship? lov4u
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: But, what I can suggest is what I frequently experience myself with what I call Even though you may not "remember" having a bad dream does not mean that you didn't. It could have been a simple image of someone or, something Our dreams are very rapid and sometimes overlap multiple times Without babbling too long about it...I believe your brain (while in sleep state) entertains itself Kinda like reading a magazine while you're waiting for your car to get fixed. :) What we remember from our dreams is actually a very small portion of what that dream was. So, in your case I would say it's very likely that something in your dream that you don't remember If it doesn't happen often, I wouldn't worry about it...but, it is very normal. I've had nightmares follow me for weeks and cause a pretty decent amount of trauma...but, we all You also might need to talk with someone about what's going on in your life right now...perhaps there Or, you body could be craving some missing vitamins and minerals either way...you're ok...don't worry...think positive. lov4u
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: There are a lot of reasons why people don't follow through on But, the good news is your 17 and up to this point even though your mom I'm assuming of coarse she is cause you said she makes good money. Maybe there is an issue of her childhood where her If she has not dealt with that...then that may be what she thinks you're supposed Some issues you will not find out about until after you move out on your own. It sucks that she's flakey...but, we don't know her point of view either. If she's not super mean about it, just accept that everyone You'll be 18 in a year...and you can get a job and get your own place Do your best until then to lower your expectations of your mom keeping her word on doing stuff. None of us are perfect and the law doesn't require parents Maybe it should...lol Until then...you have to take responsibility for learning this stuff yourself
Viewer Writes: I am 28 years old, have a beautiful 4 year old daughter, and have been My fear is - things havent been going all that great at home, and Im Boogie Responds: Well...part of being "unbiased" is that I may say something you don't like. So, because you asked for that...that is the way I will answer. Now then...even though the custody issue is a valid concern Your depression can easily sabotage you into neglecting the work you need to do Now then...if you truly believe your marriage is in trouble...what are you doing Before you start worrying about the terms of the break-up, shouldn't you rather You have the power right now to take steps (big or, small) to make yourself a better Are you in therapy?...are you in a self-help group or, online discussion group? I've clean a lot of toilets/wiped tables getting my head back together...lol Now...to indulge your concern about the " what if " scenario. My unbiased opinion is... Whoever is the best at giving care to your daughter (not just financially) is the one that SHOULD have Just because you are depressed doesn't automatically mean your husband will get custody. If you can show the court that you are not a slave to your depression So, if you are truly concerned about that...what are you also doing today to be Are you active in your daughters development? (reading-vocabulary, learning numbers, social skills etc) Today is such a wonderful opportunity for you to take so many little steps towards being If you are working hard today to be better...tomorrow will have more positive power to work with.
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: Hey my friend, thanks for writing. If you stress yourself out over your sexual ability or, lack of it...you will never Pressure does not belong in the bedroom. If she's shy about telling you...just try different things and watch how she reacts. Also there is nothing wrong with getting a book on lovemaking. It's really not to hard to figure out...but, if you don't also BIG TIP: Learn the proper way to give oral if she enjoys that The key to oral is finding out if they want to be licked (on the clit) softly and evenly or, a little harder (all vaginas are different)...then just be consistent and if she is getting excited keep doing what your doing until she orgasms. Ok, you now have a start...get in there and have fun...be safe and be loving. DON'T WORRY...it'll all work out. peace4u
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: I'm very sorry your doc was a stupid...but, some doctors just don't understand depression. 1. Make the problems smaller...don't worry about the rest of your life...all you can do is live Don't look at other people who you THINK are happy...You are not them...so focus on yourself When I'm really in bad shape...I just keep repeating the phrase "This too shall pass". 2. Diet: Lot's of Sugars and Caffeine (coffee, tea, soda pop) can make it really hard to manage depression...because the sugars/Caffeine give you a quick rush of energy and then a quick crash. This makes it difficult to focus on balancing yourself out mentally because your body chemistry is going up and down. Lot's of veggies and some good protein (chicken, fish). People don't think diet has a lot to do with depression...diet has to do with Because it is everything that we are...what we eat. Depression, happiness, love, anger and fear...are just very general names But, what you are actually feeling is a chemical reaction in your body, created by things Depression is nothing more than a signal your brain sends to your body that says "make this chemical/hormone" Then your body makes it and you feel the effects of it. The goal is not to fix the world...just balance the chemicals. That's unfortunately why doctors just prescribe crappy meds...because people Pills/meds will NEVER fix the problem...it is an artificial balancing of your bodies chemicals. Now then...if you're in an extreme state of depression...by all means...do what you have to, to balance yourself out...but, meds should only be used for a short time, while you learn to deal with your life on your own...Then you stop using the meds. There are exceptions obviously but, MOST people who suffer from depression I don't know if any of this helps...but, the last few weeks have been very rough for me...and the things I have talked about really do make a difference in how bad I get. I'm not afraid of sadness anymore...I know what it is...and I know... I know YOU can get through it too.
Viewer Writes:
The trick is...plan TWO separate trips. I've gone places to meet people...I study the area I'm going and make plans AND... of coarse there are the security issues that are VERY real...even for us adults. You are in control of this meeting...always remember that. ...I think every city should have computerized screening booth at every police station where you but, always meet in public the first meeting. You should have your own hotel room booked if you are going...once again to not be stuck...and to be safer. If you guys hit it off...stay one night in your hotel and then maybe go to his place...(personally I would only stay at the hotel) If you have a back up plan...you won't feel stupid for going...you'll have a good time anyway...and be able to laugh about what a nube the guy was. But, if it works out, you'll feel even better about yourself because you took steps to be prepared and take care of yourself. lov4u
Viewer Writes: But,...YOU ARE FUCKING WITH A MARRIED MAN! No matter what he tells you about how bad his sex is and how his wife doesn't understand...blah blah... He apparently does not respect his wife and family enough to divorce her if he is sooooo un happy... It would be another thing if he were single and you were single and you hit it off great. Do NOT give your virginity to this man...it's only a matter of time before he takes you up on your offers. You want to go the rest of your life knowing you helped wreck a family your first time having sex??? How would YOU feel if you were his wife of many years, giving him loyalty and a family... Don't become this person...you will not be happy with yourself. Don't talk to him about sex anymore...avoid him....what you are doing is not cool. "Love is not a permit to fuck up peoples lives...that is not love...that is selfishness". You are better than that...I know it. He is preying on your lack of experience. good luck
Viewer Writes: If you are not happy and being treated like shit...you have to leave. The money is not as important as your happiness. A child does not need two parents that hate each other If you can not offer that with your husband...you are cheating your child out of If your husband is drinking and abusive...you can't even Talk to a lawyer, talk to your local police about getting a restraining order if you have to. But, you have to leave...you have to make a plan...and leave. You can write him a letter but, be BRIEF and be very direct... Something like: A ten page letter with lots of "You did this's and I feel like blah blah" will only give him more ammunition to fuck with your head...and turn it around on you...that's what assholes/abusers do. The deep emotional stuff is what you discuss in the presence of a marriage counselor who is hopefully trained enough to keep you guys honest and not viscous, while working through tough issues. But, you should NOT move back in the until you have least had a couple of positive counseling session to help lay down some honest ground rules. If he refuses counseling , IMMEDIATELY move towards divorce...show him YOU are in charge of your happiness...and are ready to move swiftly to get on with your life. Now then....I know this is an ugly idea that I'm presenting...I also know...you will most likely not be as immediate and aggressive as I've suggested...if at all...most women get scared or, manipulated by the abuser. You must be aggressive about this...for yourself...for your child...it's time to toughen up. I truly hope YOU will be strong enough...I believe in you...I know you can do it. good luck
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: Well...seeing as I'm a rather sexually liberated individual I will tread There is nothing wrong with you doing ANYTHING that you feel makes Now then...On to reality. I've heard women take this stance many times at many points of their dating lives. They get so tired of feeling used just for sex by the men they are dating that they vow But, soon they realize that truth is...men want sex...other than sex...men don't really know You tell most men..."you can't have sex with me until we're married"...they will leave. The reason this doesn't work is that by saying that, you've just put a BIG price tag on sex. It is no longer something that has to do with love intimacy or, passion...it is a condition...it is A lot of women still believe that marriage fixes things or, makes men better...marriage fixes nothing. There are a lot of guys that might eventually marry you...but, not a lot that will suffer I honestly don't think a man who does not want to wait is automatically a bad person. I was also a born again christian minister (believe it or, not)...so, I did the "no sex before marriage thing. However... if you are determined that this is the best choice for you...I say stick Or, if the reason you are taking this stance is because of not wanting to be used...
Viewer Writes: I am a young mom with 2 kids, ages 9 and 21 months. My hubby and I have My 9 year old has been very emotional lately. He's normally an I'm exasperated, this kid leaves me more frustrated than I was before Boogie Responds: Well first and foremost I will be careful about the advice I give to However, I worked with children for many years (ages 5 and up ) and This honestly just sounds like a child's natural manipulative behavior. Up until just recent history...the young had to grow up much quicker In our culture now...we allow children to be children a lot longer Some people think it's bad to impose limits on a child's temper tantrums. I think it's important to allow a child to feel their emotions I don't believe that should be encouraged , especially not at 9 years old. If this behavior is not addressed and met with a firm consistent plan of action...your I've seen it...it's a really damn sad sight. Child development is all about programming cause and effect. Kids are not embarrassed to do WHATEVER it takes to get what they want and Programming is about, following a program consistently. The main word is Consistency...100% Consistency Consistent discipline for uncontrollable outbursts (stay in your room until you "Mommy and daddy love you and WANT to be with you but, Consistently EVERY TIME...no exceptions. Consistency Consistency Consistency If you show somebody ( especially a child ) exactly where the wall is, This is called "enabling"...children's manipulative behavior (just like adults) is like water... If you don't plug the holes in the wall the water will seep through. Ask yourself this question: If I handed you a 100 dollar bill for walking up and kicking me in the leg...you'd kick that crap If you give in and give your child whatever it is they are crying about... In psychology this is called "Operant Conditioning" ANY reward during or, after a temper tantrum is validating the behavior. Even if it's an inconvenience to you and means Until your child stops with the tantrums...you MUST NOT GIVE IN... It does not make you a bad person...you should not feel guilty. It may seem easier to just "give in" to shut him up...but, you are Loving someone means sometimes you have to be firm...especially when Trust me...children are quick learners...if you are truly consistent. If after a few weeks of consistently NOT re-enforcing you child's behavior...there might ...NOW to throw in a monkey wrench...is it possible that your short temper Good luck...and BE CONSISTENT..:)
Viewer Writes: Does she OWE you a second chance? You openly admit that you treated someone like shit for Sorry bro...it doesn't work that way. If you REALLY want her back you're going to have to SHOW HER that you've Immature / insecure women fall for ass kissing when they're still IN the Would you? If a chick treated you like shit and made you feel that your love was worthless I sure wouldn't...and I've been in that situation before...more than once (young and stupid). To be really honest...just from the short letter your wrote, It doesn't really sound like you love her...you just don't want That and possibly the loneliness of being overseas. She's not your property anymore...she actually never was. If you REALLY cared about her happiness because you REALLY love
her... Your apology is not very sincere, if you only apologized to get her back. If you're really SORRY you'll be happy for her with her new dude if But, I'm not feelin that from you at all. A real man can admit his mistakes...you've done that and I think that No matter what...you know you have some things to work on in your life I'm really glad you wrote but, I'm pretty positive that this isn't what you If I'm wrong...well then...I'm just some full of shit idiot on the internet sharing good luck and get home safe :)
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: Hey thar...:) It sounds like he just wants to keep you around for X-sex. Why do you want to be with someone who you already know isn't right for you You need to move on...you need to be happy to be with yourself for a while to get over him. You deserve someone who is at least going to treat you with respect...right? It comes down to loving or, at least liking yourself. Give yourself some distance from him for a while...If you keep in contact with him it just lov4u
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: it's doesn't matter if it's only a couple of years... One fight with her. Not a good idea...repeat...BAD IDEA. If you were here...friend to friend...I'd bitch slap you until you came back to earth. :) Did I mention that this is a bad idea and that you can go to prison and When you go to jail as a sex offender you might get fucked up (or, fucked) by other inmates. You see, once your in prison...everyone finds out what your in for... Even if you NEVER lay a finger on her sexually...she can lie and you go bye bye. ok, that's cool...but, do me a favor... Go to a pay phone and anonymously call your local police stations non-emergancy number.. WHY RISK YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE???....WHY??? Once you turn 18...YOU ONLY DATE 18 and OVER... But, nowhere in America is the age of consent 14. Ok, I'm done... you asked...I shot straight with you... You're going to do what you want...
Boogie Responds: That's easy...become a likeable person. Don't be a complete pussy (women don't biologically respond to that) Be interested in her thoughts...be interested in her life. If you have to pretend to be someone else to get someone to like If you ARE being yourself and she still doesn't like you? Everyone can't love you or, me. ( trust me dude...most women don't want me as Don't stress about it...Just move on and find someone who will. peace4u
Viewer Writes: Well...the first thing you will learn about being a soldier is sacrifice. You are giving up many of your rights to become the property of You could become injured or, die. However... If your desire is to be a soldier and serve your ideals of honor and patriotism.. However...you must let your girlfriend be who she is. If you try to change her views then you are not letting her be who SHE wants to be. You cannot be selfish...you must respect her right to not want to be with you if My advice...you're only going to be 18...you can wait a couple years to sign up. Trust me with recruitment having the troubles they are making their goals...they'll take you Stay with your girlfriend and see where it goes. Good luck
Viewer Writes: I had a sexual dream about my cousin the other day...I have Boogie Responds: This is a great question! Dreams of sexual encounters with anything and anybody I've had many sexual dreams with people, places and things After many years of seeking wisdom and education on this topic, We must remember...the subconscious mind works completely different Our subconscious mind is not attached to socially evolved morals, it only functions Which annoyingly...we always seem to forget, that's what we are. In the wild...if you watch the other predators (which humans are) you will see... When you're asleep, your subconscious mind is acting on the millions of years This does not mean you're evil or, being called by your mind to perform or ACT on Dreams are just clips and puzzles that reflect a number of emotions, desires and hormonal /chemical However in the wild 10,000 years ago...you probably would've been. The most important thing to realize is that, when you are awake...YOU have the choice If this was a constant repeated dream that included violence towards your cousin...I would say lov4u
Viewer Writes: This year I met this beautiful 21 year old woman online. Boogie Responds: Whooooo weeeeeee...first thing, sir horn dog, Now then...I'm sure it was really exciting having someone who was a I am not saying that this couldn't work out to be something really First...any woman that after only one encounter is willing to pick up and If you two really do want to be together that's awesome but, you are What if she moves out there with you and you find out she's a psycho? People usually date for quite a while before they start even talking about That wouldn't be fair to you and it sure as hell wouldn't be fair to her. My VERY strong suggestion is that you take it easy on the moving in thing The e mail and telephone is great for getting to know each other mentally Set up another trip where either you drive to her or, she drives to you again If you're still really into each other after a few months...then talk about Even after all that, it doesn't mean it'll work but, at least you were responsible Good luck
Viewer Writes: I have been told by a doctor that I have Bipolar. Boogie Responds: Rule #1 for depression. Rule #2 for dealing with depression. If all you keep saying nothing works, my life is shit...do you really think your How bout saying... Have you gone to every counselor and support group in the world??? That unjustly steals away all hope...hopelessness leads to depression. Just because someone is a counselor or, doctor does not mean they are It doesn't surprise me that you think you doctor is nuts...most of them are. I'm not saying they can't help but, I prefer someone who can That's why I'm a big fan of support groups. Self help books written by those that have great experience in recovery Medications Doctors who emphasize meds over psychological work and recovery I keep using the terms psychological work and recovery let me give Work and recovery is not just digging into your mind to find out Life does not owe you happiness. Stop shooting everything down because you're sad and confused. I believe if you don't give up and stay positive YOU WILL get better. Love4u Viewer Writes: What do I say to my x-husband at Christmas time or any time
First off let me say..."Fuck Holiday blues"...there, I said it. Holidays make a lot of people really confused about who they are and Now then... on to your X-husband. Do you honestly feel that you still are in love with him because If he was so great, why did you divorce in the first place??? It is very common to forget the bad stuff about a past relationship But, the reality seems to be that you're not happy in your life and you It doesn't make you a bad person...it just means that before you make any My opinion??? First off...I wouldn't say anything to your X about it. Maybe he's happy. Maybe he's not but, he IS married right now and SO ARE YOU. There are other peoples feelings besides yours involved here. The fact that your considering opening up a can of worms that could fuck with You think you feel uncomfortable now around his new wife? Because you have children together it could also complicate that aspect...greatly. If you're that miserable with your new husband you should No matter what...don't do anything until the holidays are over.
Viewer Writes: Hi boogie, I am a14year old girl. You need to tell your parents. But, you cannot hide it...Do you understand me???...You have to tell somebody. lov4u Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: First things first...relax...your pussy is not broken. This is a fact: This leads me to my next questions...do you masturbate and have you ever Hand masturbation for a woman is very important for you getting to The more you masturbate yourself to orgasm, the quicker you will learn Or, just get on top of him (that also works for most women). Also if your lover can't last long enough for you to have an orgasm lov4u
I've been dating this guy for 2yrs now. Boogie Responds: Do you really need me to tell you what you If you like being treated like shit...you know where to go. He knows how to play you. It's about control...he doesn't love you. But, just like most women...you're going to ignore logic and Why do asshole men play this game??? Wisdom = Putting into practice what you have learned. ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page
![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page How do i get my wife to give head longer with out offending her when i ask? Boogie Responds: Ok, a shallow guy question deserves an answer every now and again...lol First make sure you tell her you love her a lot. 2. Go down on her for as long as it takes for her to orgasm and while you're doing it ask her to tell you what she likes...then do it. Not all vaginas are the same. She knows what she likes better than you or, any other man could ever dream of knowing. So, listen to her. If she see's you're working hard to give her pleasure she will be more likely to work harder for you. 3. When she goes down on you tell her you really like the way she does it and then ask her to stay a little longer. Some women are terrified of having you cum in their mouth so that's why they avoid staying down there. Can you blame them???...lol Tell her you will let her know when you're close to that point and then she can finish you off with her hand. But, let me tell you... if you try to sneak a load in her mouth she won't trust you anymore and BYE BYE blowjobs. You gotta work with her if you love her and if you guys talk about it honestly you'll get along much better. The sex will get better too. Just remember to keep everything positive. good luck Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: I am a 35-year-old woman with three little boys. One is only 10 months old. My ex-husband left me and the boys when I was 4 months pregnant with my third son. We were married for 8 years. He started drinking heavily a couple of months after I found out we were pregnant with our third baby. He started having an affair with a 21 year old "person" that he works with. Needless to say, I divorced him. As far as I know he is still with this bimbo. Lately, I get the "looks" from him, he touches my arm, says he misses us and just the other day hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe. He speaks softer to me, actually civil which is a change. Am I reading him wrong or does he still love me... or the idea of me and the boys? What should I do? Should I call him! Should I just ignore it and go on with my life? Any advice? Boogie Responds: You my dear...have spawned an essay. Hopefully it will give you some insight as to the ironic shitty-ness of humans in their poor attempts to evolve. If it doesn't help then you can get your money back...lol It sucks when we find out that the fairytale we thought we would live for the rest of our lives takes a turn back into the harsh reality of un-evolved human behavior. It sucks even worse when our Prince/Princess turns back into a frog. Since the age of Walt Disney we have been tricked into thinking that EVERYONE has the potential to live happily ever after with his or her partner. I think the hint that we miss all too often is that they are called "Fairytales". Why do we make up fairytales??? To make up for what is missing in reality. The reality is... man has not completely evolved from his instincts to fuck everything that walks with a pussy. No matter how badly you want it to NOT be that way...It IS that way. That is the chemical/biological and instinctive nature of the male species since the beginning of the male species. Men and women with high testosterone have a tendency to hunt even if they have everything they need at home. Our species are hunters and gatherers. Your X husband in the wild would be a hunter. In the last 40 years as our culture leaves oppressive religious rules and social stigmas about divorce (which is not all together a bad thing) we find that the reality of lifelong monogamous relationships becoming more and more stressed. 50% divorce rate in America lends credibility to that idea. Some men are more like gatherers and can actually stay in a monogamous relationship and not be miserable. However most women find these men boring as hell. (Kind of ironic...don't you think?) Which is why women are instinctively attracted to hunters/assholes. In the caveman days women wanted a mate that would protect them from the elements of wild, so they could focus on raising the young and increase the species. For 10's of thousands of years this is the way it has been in our species of animal. Men, who's instincts are to hunt, will eventually start to become very insecure and depressed because there is nothing to hunt. Especially as they get older and start to feel less like a hunter and more like a gatherer. Their masculinity is challenged every day by the fact that monogamy is a moral choice instead of a physical necessity. In the caveman days if you wanted something...you took it...unless of coarse there was a stronger man (or woman) to beat you out of it. When another female strikes the hunter as attractive in anyway, he will start to feel his hunting/conquering instincts swell...not to mention his dick and hormones . They will become so desperate to hunt that they will throw away everything good and stable in their lives to hunt an ugly fat chick even if the mate they have is very horny and attractive. Instincts, hormones and emotions have almost always kicked logics ass. Of coarse after the hunt for the new mate is over his brain will think more logically and then he'll be depressed about throwing away the thing that was better. That is of coarse... if he gets caught. In the case that the new mate is more fulfilling to him than the old one, he will not come back and try to kiss the ass of the old one to get her back. But, once again even if he's kissing the old mates ass he's hunting again which is now new and exciting all over again even though it's with the same woman. If the old mate takes him back then it will only be a matter of time before he will need to hunt again. Then he will go back out and cheat. But this time he will be better at hiding the truth from you because that is part of the hunt too. Cheating to a hunter is not just about sex it is about hunting and getting away with it. It's about winning and the rush of feeling like you conquered something. Most men are NOT gatherers but try or pretend to be in order to get the woman. I honestly believe that a lot of hunters would like to think they are gatherers. and maybe at the wedding alter might have convinced themselves that they can do it for the rest of their lives but as time goes on the truth of their nature becomes very hard to ignore. We are still VERY barbaric with our wars, territorial pissings, crimes and greed. It's sad but we should not be surprised that it will take a long time to breed all of the animal out of men and women. We have been animal for tens of thousands of years. Don't be fooled we're still animals now...we just have cell phones and psychiatrist prescribed medicine to make us "feel" civilized. If the man is used to cheating/hunting it is VERY unlikely that he will ever be happy turning into a monogamous gatherer. At least not until he is much older and can accept that he will no longer win all the pussy. I could now write another 50 pages on the nature of women instincts but I won't do it now. I've bored you enough. But to the asker of the question "Should I call him or go on with my life???" I guess it's all depends on what you want. If you want a hunter...you can have him back but, know that he very well may cheat again and you will either accept it or be hurt by it. If you want a gatherer?...he ain't it. lov4u Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Why do I want to see my wife have sex with another man ? we have someone picked out and he has a bigger cock than me! his is at least 8" plus, i'm only 5 1/2" i can make her cum and all is good in bed. but i just want her to try with some one who is bigger than me WHY do i feel this?? can you help? Boogie Responds: Millions of questions.. None of them are meant for you to take personally...remember I've never met you. This topic of a man wanting to see his wife have sex with another man is not un-common. It's a lot more common for a husband to want his wife to be with another woman but know that your not alone. Before you go and do something that could swiftly end your marriage, you should ask yourself a lot of questions first. Is this about you wanting to make your wife happy or your obsession with the size of your dick? Being obsessed with the size of your dick is something almost every man has gone through at some point in his life (myself included). It's the same as women's obsession with their breasts. Obsession with the physical is almost always an indication that we are not happy with who we are as a person on the inside. So, we blame the person we are on the outside. We compensate with all sorts of things (fast cars, big trucks, clothes, jewelry, surgeries etc.) More questions: You need to ask yourself "Why do want an actual man to fuck my wife with a big tool instead of just getting a big toy and using it on her?" Is this about you not only wanting to see your wife have a big ween or do you feel guilty about sex you want or have had outside of your marriage? Is something lacking in your relationship with your wife that is making you want to do something extreme to fix it?. ...and of coarse my biggest question... "What the hell does your wife think about this?" Is she really into the idea or is she just following along with your obsession? Is this something that you both have talked through and feel will give you a better relationship? For some people who are more liberal and secure with their marriage, it can work and be fun. But for most it turns out disastrous. What if you can't look at your wife the same after seeing her with another man? What if she can't look at you the same or respect you, knowing that you made her do something she really didn't want to do? What will your do if your wife decides she likes fucking the new guy and wants to keep fucking him instead of you? ALL of these questions must be dealt with first. My gut feeling is that you have some confidence issues that have nothing to do with your dick. Deal with that first and see if you still feel the same way about having your wife fuck the big dude. Having a fantasy about your wife doing other guys, girls, toys, space aliens, etc etc... is fine. But that's why we have pornstars...to live out those fantasies on film where it's safe. When you try to make that fantasy a reality there can be real problems. Be careful and good luck Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes:
Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page I think I have fallen in love with my best friend. What can I do about that because I love him very much and at the same time I don't want to lose his friendship. And I feel like he is the one. Boogie Responds: An oldie but, a goodie.. The question is do I risk the friendship for the adventure of love.... Well...shit....I guess it's all about how you wanna look at it. Because no matter what you want to tell yourself, if you have that strong of feelings for your friend the dynamic of the relationship has already changed and seldom returns quickly to normal...if ever. In my opinion (for what it's worth) you have a lot of questions to ask yourself first. Do you suspect that he has similar feelings for you??? If not...then you have to ask yourself if you can stand by and not have it affect you when he falls for someone else. Can you be supportive of his relationship with someone else and not turn bitter and cynical about it??? (that's the one ruins it for most in this situation) Could you not point out his new mates every flaw to him because you secretly want him to dump the new mate and be with you...AND ONLY YOU??? If you can honestly do that then perhaps you can still be friends and keep your secret crush as a fantasy in the background. You will have to remove the title "HE IS THE ONE" from him in your mind because if you really believe that, you will convince yourself that you are sad and incomplete without his love... I believe that there are many people on this planet that one can have a good long term relationship with (if they are willing to work at it). By convincing yourself that the person you have feelings for right now is the only person in the universe that the gods/goddesses made specifically for you, is not only an arrogant fairy tale but, also puts more pressure on you to force magic where it may not work. And people do this constantly..(yes...even me in the past...more than once) My vote would be...to maybe have a light discussion about it with him. Tell him you think you might have a little crush on him and see what his reaction is. Don't tell him your madly in love with him...keep it light so you don't floor the guy. If he pats you on the head and say's "That's sweet" or calls you a goofball he's probably not interested in a relationship. If he shows interest or, sticks his tongue in your mouth...I personally would pursue it. Because I can always make new friends if it doesn't work out...you may be different from me though. Good luck Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page When i was seven and my cousin was nine or ten, he started to force me into doing sexual things which i didn't understand. It was really frightening For me, and this carried on until around the age of 12. Although he was only young at the time it seemed like he new what he was doing. Every time i went to my nans and he was there it would happen. I'm now 15 and I’ve only ever told a few friends. I pretend it doesn't bother me, but deep down it does and i still cry about it all the time. would you class this as rape. What should i do. Boogie Responds: This one took me a while to get to because it brought me back to a place that I hadn't emotionally visited in a while. Your situation is almost identical to mine when I was 7 years old but, it was not my cousin, it was my 10-year-old best friend that lived down the street from me. The sexual things we did lasted a year, until I moved. I thought I was the only one who had gone through such things and I was tortured by it as a kid. It was the single biggest issue of my youth and the cause of incredible pain and confusion. I would hide in my room crying hysterically for hours because some kid on the schoolyard would call me a fag . (Like kids do) The first thing I want to tell you is that you are not alone in this. I also want you to know that you're feelings are normal for what you went through and with a little work (please trust me on this one) you will get better. I won't spend too much time on your cousin because I'm not talking to him(or,her) Was it rape??? If you were forced to do something sexually against your will by use of physical force or, fear (threatening of physical violence or, the threat of violence to a loved one or, pet ) then technically yes that is rape. Even though your cousin was young. When you are manipulated into a sexual activity by someone older than you but, you don't feel forced to do it or, scared that is more a molestation. For example: Say you're cousin was someone you really looked up to and admired. As a kid you would do anything to please them. You don't understand that what your doing is even sexual. All you know is that your getting attention from the person you look up to. What you were doing might have even been fun to you because that person was only doing it with you. However if it is just two kids exploring they're bodies together and experimenting that is very common and part of you're natural sexual development. It is not bad and you should not feel guilt or, pain over something like that. If this is causing you the type of pain that you are going through then you need to work out what you're feeling. You're at the stage right now where you don't even know what you are supposed to feel. This is the ugly stage and the sooner you start to work on identifying what you feel the sooner you will get past the confusion. I'm very proud of you for starting to talk about this with friends and with me. The more you talk about this situation the less power it has to hurt you. When you keep painful secrets, you have to spend all your energy keeping it inside so no one will know your secret. It’s like a balloon. Let the air out no more pressure. The best suggestion I could make would be to find someone who has experience in what you are going through and has recovered themselves (support group/counselor) This is not a quick fix issue but, know that you are well on your way to fixing it. After you start to grasp what you are feeling you will then start to see how it has been affecting other areas of your life. If I could see your face the one thing I would tell you is that "It's all going to work out." lov4u Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Here is my deal, my boyfriend works all the time and/or is out of town ( lighting designer for rock shows etc...). When he isn't working he would rather spend time alone than with me. Recently he told me that he has so much work for the next three months that when he is home he will mostly be sleeping. I know you are saying well maybe he just doesn't want a girlfriend, but I have confronted him on that one and he still says he wants me in his life and he loves me. But money, work, the tv, computer and his cat always seem to come before me. He says he wants to marry me, but I see how lonely I am now and I can't imagine what my life would be like with a man who is never home and when he is home he is in his office working or watching NASCAR. I love him, but sometimes I wonder if its worth it, lately I have been thinking "What's the point?" I don't feel like he gives a damn about me!!! Should I cut the apron strings or hang on and try to talk to him about the way I am feeling? Oh and when I do try to talk to him he never has anything to say but "I don't know" that is so frustrating.. HELP ME. Boogie Responds: Well...if you'd like me to blow smoke up your ass and lie... I could say something like..."Oh, it'll get better once your married." or, "Once your married to him he'll actually start treating you as a priority in his life." But, guess what??? that's a crock of shit... If he spends that little time with you when he's not on the road then I am sorry but, your are most likely nothing more than a convenient trophy to him. Actions speak louder than words...If he treats you like you¹re not a priority in his life then that means you are not a priority in his life. He says he loves you and wants to marry you... Whooopty fuckin' dooo!!! You seem to be more of a hobby to him than a life partner ( like his computers and his NASCAR shit...). It doesn't mean he's a bad person. He could be a really cool guy to hang out with. But, a caring, nurturing, attentive, loving life partner???? Sorry, if this is how it's always been it's time you open your eyes. If you marry him it will most likely get worse... Usually relationships start off magical and then lose a little steam as time goes on. Rarely ( I have never seen it) does a relationship start out weak and then after your married turn magical. If you were a low maintenance woman who was not seeking much attention from a mate but, just wanted an occasional fuck and somebody to share the bills with...this guy is perfect... You sound like you're seeking more. You don't sound like a touring wife at all. If he treated you as a priority when he was off the road then I would have a much more optimistic opinion about your relationship. It still would take a very hard toll on you to sit at home and wait for him but, it is possible to deal with. If there's a reason to wait for him!!!! A touring or, military wife is the type of person that can be very independent without their husband around for long periods of time. Someone who can almost ignore for weeks or, months that they even have a husband because they have their own career, children, art or hobbies that can sufficiently occupy their time while he's away. My honest opinion (for what it's worth) based on not thoroughly knowing you or, this guy. If you marry him you're a fucking idiot. Lov4u Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page I am addicted to sex...I feel that sex is the only way I can really connect with a man...if I give men what they want...why don't they want me??? Boogie Responds: First rule of thumb: Men want sex... Second rule of thumb: Other than sex most men have no fucking idea what they want...lol Maybe you only feel a connection with men during sex because that's the only way you've presented yourself to men. There is nothing wrong with being sexually open, flirtatious and easy (Goddess bless you) but, when that is your first impression on a man his thought process goes straight to "Penis Mode" and all he looks at you as is a piece of ass. Now then if your just trying to get laid that works great. Women always have an easier time getting laid then men. However, if your looking for a deeper level of acceptance and connection from a man, (which it seems you are) You have to back off of the instant sex drive and try having non sex conversations when your pursuing someone new...play a little harder to get ( I can't fucking believe I''m saying this....lol). If you have been used to being sexually aggressive this will be uncomfortable at first for you because the results will take much longer than just getting laid. Remember your trying to go deeper with a man and there are far fewer men than you think that are capable of any form of intimacy beyond their cocks. That's why a lot of women turn gay..:) My suggestion is keep a couple boy toys that you can just fuck and not care about To meet your sex needs. But, for the men that you meet that you think you would like something more from... back off of the sex talk and show them your other talents and interests as a human. Let them become attracted to the things you two have in common mentally before You offer to sleep with him. But, hey.... what the fuck do I know.... I have a dick...:) Lov4u Boogie ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page
![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: Today is my daughters birthday...she's 2....I had to give her up at birth because I was deemed unfit which may be true but it was still a kick in the ass Boogie Responds: I was adopted...I've never met my biological parents... Boogie Pop is my adopted father...It is the greatest mystery in my life other than my origin in space... From what I was told my mother was 16 and my father was17...it was the late 60's and abortion wasn't legal yet...(fucking religious bastards...lol) So, here I am...i love the fact that I don't know...it's an adventure...don't be sad. When she wants to know who you are she will seek you out...and if not..you will always know that you gave her life. She belongs to the earth and even if you were raising her she would still belong to the earth...Her life is up to her and if you can influence her that's great but,she will become her own person whether you are a part of her immediate life or,not. So, live your life and work on making YOU a better creature. Don't let a bunch ofreligious idiots and talk show housewives tell you your a bad person for not having your daughter with you. You gave her life and that is a pretty fucking big deal....don't ever short yourself for that or, I'll have to whap my cock on your face.....twice. Today is a day for you to celebrate, not to fucking mope...There is a little girl out there that has a chance to dance on this pretty ocean filled planet because of YOU. and your bummed about this?????...No more silliness...the lord BoogerGod commands you to let go of it and be happy and masturbate...twice...lol. love4u Boogie ps I had a vasectomy because I know it would be better forme not to breed.... So, my children are my worshippers and I love them as much as I can....until they piss me off then I spank them.....lol ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes:
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![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: Boogie Responds: Lov4u ![]() click to ask a question Back to top - Count Boogie's MySpace page Viewer Writes: I am nothing special and I will never have anyone. Boogie Responds: I have to risk you hating me to say this... This is one thing I have learned... "Most people are not attracted to people that are not attracted to themselves" When you care about yourself and you love yourself people will gravitate towards that... Ask yourself this: Why the hell would anyone want to love somebody who has a pitiful view of themselves... why would they bring themselves down like that??? What is the advantage? You will only atract pitiful people...losers...and nothing more.... Learn to love yourself first. Change whatever you have to in your life to make yourselfknow that you are special to the planet and worth being loved... Love is not free...the love of another person is somethingthat needs to be inspired daily.... Who's going to be inspired by somebody who has such a shittyview of themselves? ....not me...and not most. Love starts first with attraction ( not just physical) Idon't know of many relationships that don't .... I know a lot ofwoman who physically are not very attractive or, are very overweight and yethave no trouble getting dates because they have beautiful, strong personalitiesand they present themselves as attractive. Does it help if you are physically fit and pretty???...ifyour trying to get a man...yes...sorry...but, it is the truth, most men'sattraction to a woman starts with their eyes and their dicks. However most of us are not fit and pretty nor will we everbe.( I personally have battled with weight problems and eating disorders mywhole life) So, it is even moreimportant for us to have beauty on the inside... In the end if no one loves me it doesn't matter...I only goto the grave by myself anyway. But, If I learn to love myself today, my path to the grave will be much happier and perhaps I will have somebody walk with me along theway. love4u Boogie
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